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how my career changes path

 

Life takes unexpected turns; the funny thing is it does not require your permission to it! Just imagine you’re in a cab and you want the driver to turn right and he ignoring you turns left, and you have relocated, in the end, you get fed up and leave the cab, guess what?! You can’t do that in life, by anyways getting off a running cab is suicide in both cases. Therefore, you don’t have a chance other than changing the destination. In such you look up to god and ask him why the hell you are doing this to me, I wanted to go somewhere else, I ended up somewhere else, the metaphorical version of” jana tha japan pahuch gaye chin samaj gaye na!” but life goes on you have to relocate several times.

I’m in midst of  relocation too, I spent 2 years of my preparing for an m.pharm entrance test called GPAT. I was truly determined to live my life as a research scientist, looking for new drug candidates to change the course of humanity, give new life to patients all over the world. It was only after when I understood the way they worked that I found out how the reality is, how it takes years of research and effort to develop a drug, and mostly with no results at all, many times the drug does well but due to some side  effects or other reasons FDA disapproves of the drug and the scientists come back to square one. It's kind of frustrating but still I came to peace with it but then I found out how 1 guy does only 1 thing throughout the process, and has no idea how the journey is led, moreover they don’t even know how the other guys work, the entire process is carried by communication in between the workers, the bigger picture is lesser-known to each cog. No wonder the process takes so long! Next, Indians are lazy when it comes to teamwork, it unleashes our govt worker and start blaming the other guy who failed to do it job, this way screwing our own job, probably the pharma situation will be a little better but my expectations are not high.

This led me to rethink my decisions and question myself do I really want this kind of life? This is not the first time I’m facing this question, it came to when I was preparing for my neet\cet to get into medicine, that time I saw the scenario and looked at the doctors and how they worked, despite being in health care they seemed unhealthy, the concern and empathy expected from the doctors was not seen as much as it should. And most of all I was not ready to work as hard as it was expected of me. I thought why am I supposed to work hard now to work hard later? Its no going to get easy and I can't fool myself by not caring for my patients, I have to be there when they need me, I can't put money before their health and deep down I was not ready for this type of commitment, my overthinking led to poor performance and confirmation that I shouldn’t become a doctor.

Years from that day, I stand here again, with a similar question but this time I want to become a doctor, I’ve tried the industry route, I don’t think it for me, on contrary I believe I should be in healthcare on the ground level, looking after the patients getting the feedback and validation then and there not 15 years later. Over time I have been fortunate enough to get to know some of the brilliant and enthusiastic doctors online who love their job and influence many to manage the health better. Now I think not as a clinic doctor but as a clinical pharmacist (pharm.d) I can make a difference.

 

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